Aug 9, 2017
My sister keeps saying things that put me down. After hearing it for so long from her and my parents and all the people who used to bully me, I start to believe them.
I know I am too fat, I know I am ugly. Fuck I know I am hairy. I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome. It means I get hair where I am not supposed to and that I don't get monthly.
I know I am stupid. I know I am everything bad.
I always feel like this, I just hide it a lot. Being away from my love makes it worse sometimes. Because when I was with him, if he just hugged me, it went away a little.
I am not used to actually talk about my feelings, used to I would just bottle them up. But now with D, I want to talk about them but I don't. Reason being is that we rarely get to be alone.
I miss him, and I know it seems strange. But honestly I feel safe with D and VV. I have fun when I am with them.
At times I start wondering why does he want me in his life?
Why is he so kind to me?
Why does he care?
No one is supposed to care about me. I am nothing.
I am the one who helps the ones I love. I help them with what they feel, with everything. I don't like it when D is sad. I want him happy. I hate his ex, how she treated him. I honestly see his family treating him and VV bad as well.
I want to just take them somewhere away from there and do my best to make them happy.
I know I am too fat, I know I am ugly. Fuck I know I am hairy. I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome. It means I get hair where I am not supposed to and that I don't get monthly.
I know I am stupid. I know I am everything bad.
I always feel like this, I just hide it a lot. Being away from my love makes it worse sometimes. Because when I was with him, if he just hugged me, it went away a little.
I am not used to actually talk about my feelings, used to I would just bottle them up. But now with D, I want to talk about them but I don't. Reason being is that we rarely get to be alone.
I miss him, and I know it seems strange. But honestly I feel safe with D and VV. I have fun when I am with them.
At times I start wondering why does he want me in his life?
Why is he so kind to me?
Why does he care?
No one is supposed to care about me. I am nothing.
I am the one who helps the ones I love. I help them with what they feel, with everything. I don't like it when D is sad. I want him happy. I hate his ex, how she treated him. I honestly see his family treating him and VV bad as well.
I want to just take them somewhere away from there and do my best to make them happy.
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