my unique life

D got me something for christmas. I told him he shouldn't have. That I am very happy to be with him on christmas. Today I am low thoug. But I don't want to tell him that. I don't want him to worry. My main concern is him. To help him feel better. He got sick from his father. So I am doing my best to help him. I can't watch a movie fully when I am home. I can only watch them fully when I am with him. He makes me happy. I hope he likes his christmas presents I made him.

I am afraid that no one will truly love me. I feel as if I am unworthy of love. I asked D a question last night and I made him sad. I didn't mean to. I feel bad about asking that question. I may just keep a lot of questions in my mind so I don't make him sad. I dislike it when he is sad, and if I made him sad I become low and start thinking badly about myself. I truly love him. He holds my heart in his hands. I trust him with all my heart. I don't tell him a lot of the bad things that go through my mind. I don't think I am worth worrying about. He shouldn't worry that much about me. I went to his house for thanksgiving. I had fun with him and vv. I hope they like the presents I have for them. I am scared that D won't want me. I am scared that he will leave. I am scared that he will find someone else better then me. I am scared that he will never ever love me. I know I am weak, ugly, dumb, not wanted. Fuck, I know all of this. I just want to be loved but m...