my unique life

My sister just told me she hopes I die. I mean honestly, it seems like a good idea. I lost the person I love, I am barely talking to people. Or maybe I can just start cutting myself. I need someone to talk to. He is the only one who I can trust and tell everything to. But I lost him so I can't anymore. I hate myself, I know I am fat, ugly, worthless. I am everything bad. He made me believe I'm not. I only heard his voice telling me I am perfect, that I am beautiful and I started to believe it. But now that he is gone I am worse. Why can't I find someone to love.

I wanna tell him i cant live without him. I want to hug him. I want to cry. But if he is happy with his girl. Then i wont. His happiness is what i care for a lot. I cant hurt him. But i dont want to talk to him yet i do at the same time. Why does love have to be so complicated? Can I just go back into my shell and sleep a lot? That way i can stop feeling. I love him so much but i have to let him go.

The relationship ended on what was suppose to originally be the 3rd month anniversary. I am happy that he followed his heart, even though that means mine is broken. I do hope he and his girl are happy for the rest of their life together. Yes, I am hurt. But his happiness is all that I want. Yes, I may cry for a little but I can deal with it. I am strong. I have done it before. It seems everytime that someone breaks up with me they find the person they want to be with forever. Why can't I find someone I want to be with forever? But I will deal with it. I am me and I can handle another heartbreak. He and I are just gonna be friends. It's for the best. I hope though I can find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Anyway Until Next Time. Have a great day/night.

So I got back together with my boyfriend, on Oct 31, 2016. He right now is in the hospital, I do keep hoping he is okay. I created an artwork last night, had a little fun with it. This month other than thanksgiving, which I can not celebrate because 1) we dont have a working oven 2) no money for food. I am going to be getting a car, a Honda. I can't wait to see my boyfriend in person, I love him so much. I miss him so much. I know I keep talking about him a lot, but honestly I worry so much about him.