my unique life

I sleep a lot more now. That way i won't be up during the day. The reason being, I can't stand my family. Everyday if its not one thing it's another. Every time when I sleep, I have 3 different dreams. The 1st one is what i wish to happen. The 2nd one is a nightmare and the 3rd one is my past. I don't tell anyone a lot about me. I usually act happy. So they don't bother me. It works sometimes. Other times i get so annoyed i almost puch someone.

So, I have been doing really well in school. Which, is amazing. I have applied to multiple jobs. Hopefully I get this job I really want. My mom had to get her liquor lisence and she passed the test today. All she has to do is one more thing and she has the job fully. I will admit, I am hurting only because I see all these couples and I am single. I try to put myself out there to meet new people but it isn't working. I was thinking maybe I should give up looking. My father, is friends with this guy. And the guy is having relationship troubles. everyone can see that the girl is just using him. So my father said to him, " I have a single 19 year old, maybe you should date her." It is now going through my mind. I mean who would date me? I am a loser, I do everything wrong. I get cheated on, lied to, and hurt. Whats the point of finding someone? I don't know how much more heartbreak i can handle. My family doesn't even know. I hide it well. Anyway I will try to po...

So we are moving houses. I like it. For the past few days i have had a feeling something is gonna happen to me. I was right. My boyfriend maybe falling in love with his friend. Why can't i get a boyfriend or girlfriend and actually date them for a while? Why can't i get a happy time? I feel like i am ment to be alone forever. I ahould get it through my mind that no one will ever love me. I just want someone to hold, to kiss, to show my love to them, etc. But no life has to fuck with me. I need to get a punching bag to help get all my anger and sadness out. *screams in frustration*

Hey, everyone. So what's been happening in my life? I have been very happy with my boyfriend. School is going awesome. I am going to start my next class on the 3rd. I am also going to get new classes on the 6th. That's all for right now. Thanks, -Jasmin