Feb 22, 2018

He wants to get me a present for my birthday which is March 17. I keep telling him not to because I don't want him to spend money on me. I feel as if I don't deserve to have a present. Nor to celebrate it. I don't want to tell him that what I do want is something that may take a while because he is healing. Or that I just want to be in a relationship with him. But because he hasn't paid the lawyer fully yet...he sees it as he can't. I understand....I really do. I just want him happy. I try my best for him. I try not to bother him as well. I always feel like I do. I feel as if I cause problems as well. When I am around his family including vv I stay in the background and be quiet. I do love him. I love him so much. I wish with all my heart that he is healing and getting better. And I do hope that he does find someone to be with. Even if that might not be me. No matter how much I love him. I will never make him stay in my life if he doesn't want to be in it. I will never push him to do anything he doesn't want. He is important to me. And always will be. I hope Im important to him as well.