Feb 19, 2018

I have been trying to hide the sadness, that way he doesn't worry. It is hard to hide them because he can easily see them. I do love him.
He keeps thinking bad, that I don't want him because he is broken. I do want him no matter what. I want to help him all I can to make him happy and to heal him.
I need to start training my body to stop wanting cuddles and playtime. He is tired a lot at night. Plus his daughter keeps coming in and waking him up. So I really don't bother him.
I just want to be loved and wanted. Maybe I should give that want up. I never deserve it. Plus we are supposed to be just friends. It hurts to say that. My mom keeps calling him my boyfriend. I tell her he isn't my boyfriend, just a friend.
I know that on this blog I talk sad a lot. I don't want to bother him with what is on my mind. I bother him enough. And I want to stop that.

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