March 7, 2018
Why am I the one is unlovable? My family treats me like crap. They treat my sister way better. Get her lots of things.
While they bitch at me for asking for $10 for gas. My mother threatened to kick me out. I know she will go through with it. I always knew they stopped caring about me after awhile.
Before I met D I was considering suicide. But then I met him and I stopped thinking about it. I wanted to live that way I could be with D. Help him heal and be happy.
I promised him something, to never cut. I intend to keep that promise. No matter how bad I really want to.
Today I got sick. I hope it ends soon. It seems like it is. Maybe I got sick because I stay in my room and stay away from my family. If you can even call them that anymore. I try to think happy thoughts. But it isn't working right now. All I can hear in my mind. Is my "family" saying they wished I was never alive. Or how ugly and fat I am. Or how they don't care about me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I want to give up but then I don't. I don't want to tell D, he is still going through his sadness. I know I am not very important in anyone's life. I know I never will be. No matter how much I hope.
I know I will never be loved. Or wanted. Fuck I know all this stuff. The reason I don't cut, the only reason I am still alive is because of D. NO ONE ELSE. HE MAKES ME WANT TO LIVE.
While they bitch at me for asking for $10 for gas. My mother threatened to kick me out. I know she will go through with it. I always knew they stopped caring about me after awhile.
Before I met D I was considering suicide. But then I met him and I stopped thinking about it. I wanted to live that way I could be with D. Help him heal and be happy.
I promised him something, to never cut. I intend to keep that promise. No matter how bad I really want to.
Today I got sick. I hope it ends soon. It seems like it is. Maybe I got sick because I stay in my room and stay away from my family. If you can even call them that anymore. I try to think happy thoughts. But it isn't working right now. All I can hear in my mind. Is my "family" saying they wished I was never alive. Or how ugly and fat I am. Or how they don't care about me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I want to give up but then I don't. I don't want to tell D, he is still going through his sadness. I know I am not very important in anyone's life. I know I never will be. No matter how much I hope.
I know I will never be loved. Or wanted. Fuck I know all this stuff. The reason I don't cut, the only reason I am still alive is because of D. NO ONE ELSE. HE MAKES ME WANT TO LIVE.
Comments
Post a Comment