May 12, 2017
Family. What does it mean to me?
It should mean people who are there for each other. People who understand you and won't leave you. People who don't verbal abuses you and treat you like shit.
No, what it means to me now is people who I am related to by blood.
Sometimes I want to just leave, find a place to stay and get away from them. Other times I wonder what it would be like to be deleted. (died) I know it is wrong to say those things but its the truth. I feel like I don't have a family. Like I am all alone. I talk to my best friend, I consider her a sister. Even though we aren't even the same race. Sometimes it is better to have family that isn't related by blood then to have a family that is.
What a wonderful fucked up life. I can deal with bullying, with depression, and anxiety. But to be verbally abused most of my life by my so called "family". I can't. At least not anymore. I wanna block of all of my emotions. So I can focus on school. So I can get a degree and get a good job. Something my parents could never do. I am proud of my little sister though. She is continuing her education. Trying to get her GED. Although, She can be a bitch to. I am proud of her.
I never thought that my life would become so bad that I keep thinking about dying. That I come so close to just doing it. I don't even do my art anymore. I have given up on it. I give up on family. I give up on life.
-J
It should mean people who are there for each other. People who understand you and won't leave you. People who don't verbal abuses you and treat you like shit.
No, what it means to me now is people who I am related to by blood.
Sometimes I want to just leave, find a place to stay and get away from them. Other times I wonder what it would be like to be deleted. (died) I know it is wrong to say those things but its the truth. I feel like I don't have a family. Like I am all alone. I talk to my best friend, I consider her a sister. Even though we aren't even the same race. Sometimes it is better to have family that isn't related by blood then to have a family that is.
What a wonderful fucked up life. I can deal with bullying, with depression, and anxiety. But to be verbally abused most of my life by my so called "family". I can't. At least not anymore. I wanna block of all of my emotions. So I can focus on school. So I can get a degree and get a good job. Something my parents could never do. I am proud of my little sister though. She is continuing her education. Trying to get her GED. Although, She can be a bitch to. I am proud of her.
I never thought that my life would become so bad that I keep thinking about dying. That I come so close to just doing it. I don't even do my art anymore. I have given up on it. I give up on family. I give up on life.
-J
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