Jan 28, 18
My mother just told me she wishes she never gave birth to me. What's new though? They never really cared about me. They aren't my family and will never be anymore. They want to treat me like shit most of my life. Fine. I am done. Fucking almost 20 years of this bullshit with them.
I don't need them anymore. I have D and VV. They are more of a family then mine are.
D makes me happy and actually cares about me. He doesn't treat me like I am nothing. He treats me as if I am important. He helps with my depression. I am not as depressed a lot as I am at home. When I am with him, I don't get low a lot. I smile more and actually feel happy.
He is so amazing and wonderful. I don't know what I would do without him. I would have probably tried to kill myself by now. If it is not one thing with my family it's another. Either way, I get yelled at. Either way It is my fault as always.
Fuck I am trying my hardest to not get low and think horrible thoughts. But I can't help it. They make me feel as if I am nothing. As if I shouldn't be alive anymore. That way I don't ruin their perfect fucking lives.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to leave. But I have nowhere to go. I have no car. I have no job. I do applications and when I am ready to turn it in. Oh, there is no gas in the car and I am not allowed to drive it. Even though I am the only one with an active physical license. Maybe I should go to a shelter. That way at least they will help me get things, like a job, food stamps, etc.
I don't need them anymore. I have D and VV. They are more of a family then mine are.
D makes me happy and actually cares about me. He doesn't treat me like I am nothing. He treats me as if I am important. He helps with my depression. I am not as depressed a lot as I am at home. When I am with him, I don't get low a lot. I smile more and actually feel happy.
He is so amazing and wonderful. I don't know what I would do without him. I would have probably tried to kill myself by now. If it is not one thing with my family it's another. Either way, I get yelled at. Either way It is my fault as always.
Fuck I am trying my hardest to not get low and think horrible thoughts. But I can't help it. They make me feel as if I am nothing. As if I shouldn't be alive anymore. That way I don't ruin their perfect fucking lives.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to leave. But I have nowhere to go. I have no car. I have no job. I do applications and when I am ready to turn it in. Oh, there is no gas in the car and I am not allowed to drive it. Even though I am the only one with an active physical license. Maybe I should go to a shelter. That way at least they will help me get things, like a job, food stamps, etc.
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