Dec 14, 2017
I am afraid that no one will truly love me. I feel as if I am unworthy of love.
I asked D a question last night and I made him sad. I didn't mean to. I feel bad about asking that question.
I may just keep a lot of questions in my mind so I don't make him sad. I dislike it when he is sad, and if I made him sad I become low and start thinking badly about myself.
I truly love him. He holds my heart in his hands. I trust him with all my heart. I don't tell him a lot of the bad things that go through my mind. I don't think I am worth worrying about.
He shouldn't worry that much about me.
I went to his house for thanksgiving. I had fun with him and vv. I hope they like the presents I have for them.
I am scared that D won't want me. I am scared that he will leave. I am scared that he will find someone else better then me. I am scared that he will never ever love me.
I know I am weak, ugly, dumb, not wanted. Fuck, I know all of this. I just want to be loved but maybe I never deserve to be loved.
D makes me happy. He helps me alot. But I make sure when I am there that I cry and make sure he doesn't see me low, I do it when he isn't in the room. When I am at home....its easier to hide.
Somehow he knows when I am low when I am there. I don't want him to worry about me. I'm not worth it.
I asked D a question last night and I made him sad. I didn't mean to. I feel bad about asking that question.
I may just keep a lot of questions in my mind so I don't make him sad. I dislike it when he is sad, and if I made him sad I become low and start thinking badly about myself.
I truly love him. He holds my heart in his hands. I trust him with all my heart. I don't tell him a lot of the bad things that go through my mind. I don't think I am worth worrying about.
He shouldn't worry that much about me.
I went to his house for thanksgiving. I had fun with him and vv. I hope they like the presents I have for them.
I am scared that D won't want me. I am scared that he will leave. I am scared that he will find someone else better then me. I am scared that he will never ever love me.
I know I am weak, ugly, dumb, not wanted. Fuck, I know all of this. I just want to be loved but maybe I never deserve to be loved.
D makes me happy. He helps me alot. But I make sure when I am there that I cry and make sure he doesn't see me low, I do it when he isn't in the room. When I am at home....its easier to hide.
Somehow he knows when I am low when I am there. I don't want him to worry about me. I'm not worth it.
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